Saturday, October 22, 2016

Where's the Man That Said "I Do?" Chap. 2 pg 3


So what is gas-lighting?

            Gas-lighting is when someone wants you to do what you know you shouldn’t, or wants you to deny feelings that you know you have, and their goal is to make you believe the unbelievable.

            This is what took me so long to go for help. My reality was twisted and I fully began to believe I was the problem in the relationship, even though my gut kept banging on my internal door.

            But, gas-lighting, some may feel is a small, trivial matter. What’s the big deal? There’s no broken bones, no screaming, why is it so damaging? The ultimate goal in gas-lighting is to drive their victims to question their own grip on reality and even to make them feel like they are going insane.

             It is a mind game often used to distract others from their own problematic behaviors and to create self-doubt in their target of abuse. People can read about gas lighting, but until you experience it, it’s difficult to understand just how disturbing it feels when someone does this to you. Especially when the abuser makes casual matter-of-fact references to behaviors in which you never engaged and then acts incredulous that you cannot remember. It makes you lose all trust in your perceptions, and you wonder what’s wrong with you as the self doubt grows until you feel as though you may be losing your mind.

            The first step toward healing is to get the help you need to separate from the toxic reality that the narcissist has imbedded within you. If you suspect you are in a relationship with a narcissist….get help as soon as possible. If unable to go to counseling, there are many groups on Facebook and many victims who have posted valuable information on Youtube. The more you learn about narcissism the more you will begin to heal from the toxicity.

            Make sure your counselor is familiar with narcissistic personality disorder, not every psychologist is….and it’s vital that you find someone that truly understands the damaging effects of being in a relationship with a narcissist.

            Also, read up on ga-lighting. This is going to help you to understand all of those moments that your reality was twisted and turned; it will help you once again begin the task of learning to trust your perceptions once again.

            Suspect gaslighting when you notice:

1)      Confusion: You feel confused and off-balance when you interact with your partner. You receive responses that don’t seem to make sense from ordinary actions. When you respond to these puzzling reactions to normal behavior, your reactions are labeled wrong and/or unreasonable. You may be told that you are reading into things that don’t exist or that you are being overly sensitive.

2)      Conflict about memory: You are told  “I never said that” when you clearly remember hearing it. You are frequently told “you’re imagining things” or “it didn’t happen like

 that.”  When your partner declares these memory differences in calm, convincing behavior you begin to feel like you are losing your mind, your reality is constantly being rewritten.

3)      Fears about mental stability: You worry that you are going crazy. Your partner begins to point out mental instability in you and express concern that you are going to have a mental breakdown or that constantly suggests you have sever emotional problems.

4)      Emotional vertigo: You feel a constant sense of ‘dizzyness’ or feel as if you have no place to stand, when trying to make sense of the situation. Reality is not seeming to add up, the facts do not make sense, but you see that as a flaw in yourself rather than in the situation or the other person. This can lead to obsessive thoughts as you try to figure things out.

5)      Distrust of your perceptions: You ask others to confirm what you notice. For example: Is it wrong that I got upset when my husband (boyfriend, mother, daughter etc.) insulted me for this or that. If someone agrees with you it still feels hard to trust your perception and yet if someone disagrees with you, you automatically assume your perception had been wrong all along.

No comments:

Post a Comment