"I HATE YOU"
"I CAN'T WAIT TO GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE"
"EVERYTHING DAD EVER SAID ABOUT YOU IS TRUE"
"SHUT UP"
"YEAH RIGHT, YOU'RE TOO WEAK TO TAKE MY PHONE AWAY THAT LONG"
"WHATEVER!"
After having lived with a malignant narcissist for many years and yet having the strength to leave...many victims look forward to enjoying a peaceful, loving home environment....and are shocked to see that the true effects of narcissistic abuse in children are revealed AFTER they are out of the abusive home environment.
When one young child began whirling the above statements at one subscriber, the parent was completely caught off guard. The narcissist was no longer in their lives and yet it seemed he had somehow spread his abusive fleas which had leaped off of him and carried over to their new home and were quickly multiplying and causing havoc on any dream of a happy family life.
Her daughter, her beautiful little girl who used to prance around the living room in her tutu when she was 5 years old, this little girl who would make me breakfast in bed when her mom was sick (which usually consisted of a poptart and some blueberries placed in a circle around them ) had become someone she had no longer recognized.
Slowly, beginning around the age of 5 she had been becoming more and more serious, an old soul in the body of a child. Her tan skin was set like concrete in the sense that her mouth no longer opened for laughter for there was no giggling and flowers in the hair and playing dress up. In fact as the years went on her mom fought so hard to dress her cute and she did everything to fight her on it and dressed down, looking dumpy, homely, anything to take away from her beauty.
Regardless of the strange changes her mom had witnessed take place, her daughter had always been respectful, polite, eager to please even throughout all the years of craziness that had occurred while living with a narcissistic parent.
She was like a spring that had been wound and wound so tight that the second she was away from her father, the one who did the winding, she sprung open so spontaneously that neither one knew how to handle it.
Suddenly that beautiful little girl was treating her mother exactly like.......her narcissistic father. And due to the PTSD the mom was suffering, it was as if he was still there with me, under the same roof, doing the same psychological torture games with her all the while using their daughter as his marionette to continue the same abuse the mom had ran away from.
It would be easy to put all of the blame on him, or on the kids....but the truth was she was infected with his narcissistic fleas as well. There were behaviors that had to be unlearned, and healthy behaviors that desperately needed to be learned in order to teach her children not only to respect her but also to respect themselves and others so they could grow into healthy adults.
Conflict is difficult for many victims of narcissistic abuse.
And where a healthy parent would be untouched by the words "I hate you" of a child, her heart bled inside. The healthy parent knew those words weren't true, that the child was simply angry and wasn't exercising their anger in the best way. But at times....it's easy to believe every word that's heard and feel the pain of each of them.....that's why it's important to understand the changes need to begin with .....YOU.....A victim needs to be able to help themselves if they are ever going to help them!!!
This publication has helped many to learn exactly what it means to be assertive and how by learning this necessary quality, you can gain back the respect that the narcissist tried to take away.....
I highly recommend it to anyone that is parenting a child that has a narcissistic parent!!
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