Finally Comfortable In My Own Skin

There was a time that when attending any wedding, anniversary party or a simple get together with friends....all events were preceded by confusing, ridiculous and irrelevant arguments that escalated in outright verbal abuse that did not stop until i either broke down in tears or exploded myself. Once the narcissist received the reaction he needed, once he received an emotional response from me it was as if a drug came over him, a calmant and he was suddenly fine and ready to go out and have a good time despite my swollen eyes, pounding headache and/or heart, confusion and depression. My outburst made him feel better, like an emotional hiccup that he needed to get out and once he got it he was ready to go. Needless to say, I showed up at all of those events looking like I was a mess, emotionally unstable and overcome with anxiety. My confidence had disappeared, I felt unlikable, unlovable, unable to be comfortable in my own skin. All of this led to panic attacks that made me fear social settings. Well....I have been free for four years and this is me now......ready to dance and party. I look at this picture and i see a confident woman, a woman comfortable in her own skin. I never thought i would find me again!!!!!!